How to Change Your Idenity to Get What You Want (Even if You’re not the Type of Person Who Can Change)

I’ve been working on an article lately that has me reading books recommended by people I really admire in the jiu jitsu community; books that people said have been the catalysts for great change and understanding in life. One of the lessons that consistently appears in these books is the idea that how we identify ourselves can be the thing that holds us back from achieving our goals. In order to overcome a negative paradigm regarding who we are, we must strive to make a shift.
In his book The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, (recommended by MMA and BJJ legend Ricardo Almeida)  Steven Covey shines intense focus on paradigm shifts. As we educate ourselves, our perspective can shift in a heartbeat and make what seems to be a hopeless situation into something completely different. He gives an example in the video below.

​Ramit Sethi of “I Will Teach You to Be Rich” used an example in an email of a guy who identified as being cheap and therefore sabotaged his potential for growth. Because he grew up on welfare, sticker shock held him back from investing in a program that would help him to increase his wealth much more than he would have spent intially. Finally, he took the plunge and achieved the success he desired.

Dana Falsetti, told herself she was too fat and could only be happy and healthy if she lost 100lbs. She thought she was too fat to do yoga. As she progressed in her journey she realized that her perception about herself had been wrong all along. ​Now she is a yoga instructor and inspiring others to see themselves for who they really are.

Have you ever gotten really excited about something but thought, “No, that’s not for me. I’m not the type of person who:

  • lifts weights
  • eats salad
  • runs
  • does jiu jitsu
  • buys stocks
  • opens his/her own business
  • falls in love
  • is happy.”

Well, you’re not that type of person if you tell yourself you’re not. But really, you are if you want to be. We are who we think we are.

I remember when I was younger I was in an arguement with my boyfriend and he said, “Stop yelling at me!” And I yelled, “Where I come from, we yell when we argue. That’s just the way I am!” Now I realize how ridiculous that was but I still see people who bind themselves to limiting behavior because they say, “That’s just the way I am.” I’m selfish, I’m stubborn, I’m vengeful, I’m lazy…

That’s not true, though! That’s who you are choosing to be. You can choose to be different. You can be generous, flexible, forgiving, productive… if you want to.

In a recent podcast with Joe Rogan, Aubrey Marcus talks about our amazing human superpower: choice.

Who will you choose to be?  Check out Anthony Robbins Lessons in Mastery below. It will give you some ideas on how to create lasting change.
Thanks for reading! Comment below with stories about changes you’ve made and how you did it!

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